Archive for the ‘Reflections’ Category
Yo! Having been dominated by my ego, it refrained me from visiting here, but finally I told my ego “to hell with you” and here I come.. I “miss” my blog.. I “miss” the freedom of my usage in this blog…
“Nazreen!!!!! Nazreen!!!!” 6 am in the morning… Imagine, I was dread tired and just didn’t want anyone to disturb me… The least thing I ever expected to come when I’m asleep.. The knocks… it came… NO CHOICE but to just get up my sleep and open the door… “Enna ma………….” It was due to the exam paper i set… Answered her queries and went back to sleep…
Finally the sleep I ever expected was here… It was indeed a peaceful night without any worries or tensions on assignments… Having been going through nightmares lately, puffy eyes, frequent migraines.. Well I have a very less tolerance level of stress and therefore tend to fall ill whenever I’m stress..
Here comes the weirdest nightmares ever…. Recently I’ve been finding myself down with nightmares on my assignments.. I woke up several times in the middle of the night finding myself walking around in my house trying to hit back to bed… Hearing voices(from the assignment) during the nights asking me to go and do my assignments.. I see letters and words and numbers and references and everything which have got to do with assignments… How true, indeed, we are being bombarded with assignments which leads us to depression.. Wondering if the university will do something about it, and how I wish my lecturer actually does what she told us on the feedbacks she was going to give to the university.. Apparently this is what happens. Having being discussing about assignments, even in our whatsapp threads or facebook group threads, day and night, imagine yourself waking up with 100 over msges every morning.., informations shared by your mates, it tends to give us more fears on every mi-nute single things. How many words for title? hanging indent for references? how many words for abstract? can’t we exceed this amount of words?? etc etc.sometimes i feel like missing them by offing the alerts and all but eventually afraid of missing any important information from them… its scares all of us on thinking of how much will they penalize for every mi-nute mistakes we make.! Phew such a battle it is… Several times breaking down and feeling of banging my head in the wall saying – STATS GO AWAY FROM ME… I’m taking 3 modules and every other modules am pulling it through well except for this STATS!
So what’s next?? Just a day of celebration and back to the next assignment submission coming next week?? Pheww!!!! I just can’t wait to get over with these… & exams coming soon??? *sweats* HOWEVER i found myself entering into the new world.. Even though it’s really sucking my blood throughout, I met people with all walks of life, and putting our heads together and working on things together had thought me several lessons in life…. It inspired me to move forward working through my goals despite anything… It’s tough but at the same time it’s worth the try :) Awww something just pop up my mind at this very moment! “YNWA” Ah Ah… That’s the spirit! Jia You!!
I see myself in the horizon
There’s some path that stretches ever so far
I journey of further to seek my little treasure
But the path just seems to ever get so dimmer
A little light down there gestures at me to get across there
But not always does it sink into my stare
There’s some enthu’ in me that comes and goes
Is that the light that blinks itself on and off
There seems some confusion somewhere inside me
Though at times I seek for some clarity
Just waiting for the time that all seems well
And then shall I see at least the little shadow that’s awaiting me
Questioning myself each time I set on each phase
Oh my little gaze set at me on and get me into pace…
-Unknown source-
“There are three things in life that never turn back: the spent arrow, the spoken word and the lost opportunity.”
What happens when you are suppose to sleep and you can’t ?? Just random thoughts which will be running in your mind ain’t it ?
I’m trying to bring out the gut from me to pen down something… I can’t be just sitting down and telling myself that I’ve lost my momentum right?? I hope so.. Actually am freaking worried.. A person who used to write compos, lost touch of it… ! Imagine how am I going to write my essays??? Err 10000 words..?? 20000 words?? Paranoid!!!
I know, this is definitely not the time for me to pen down something.. But I just felt I need to let thoughts aloud; to have some thoughts shared in this present moment.. Pheww…!! We’ve come quite a long way haven’t we?? Life’s isn’t so much of bliss as it was during school going times.. It’s totally a different world out there; different challenges out there; loadza people out there; and there comes with it too many responsibilities too..
When we’d been kids, we used to spend some dollars and cents. Yeah, I used to spend money in terms of coins of at most a dollar or two. Then came a time where the expenditure was in about a few dollars; then with that red note, followed by that blue and slowing with that brown note.. Phew, it’s going to be real soon that the amounts in thousand OR shall I say it had already been. Sigh, whatever that I’ve saved will be used for my studies.. By the way.. It’s for good :)
That’s one side.. The other factor’s gonna be time.. Holidays I remember slacking alot. But I certainly need that time just to slack for the sake of slacking, I have to slack cos this is how life’s gonna be when; how it is suppose to be.. Pheww.. I’m having quite a number of commitments and there really needs a way to juggle time.. Erghh.. Loadza things are coming up… Interesting & exciting yet …………………..
Let all things be with HIS blessings and grace…
My deepest condolences and sympathies to the people in Japan … :’(
Regards,
Nazreen …..
What’s this thing called life; What’s this thing called…?
Posted by: NazGal
October 18th, 2010 >> My love, My Poem, Reflections
Irunthum Illaamal Oru Unarvu
Terinthum Teriyaathe Oru Ninaippu
Arinthum Ariyaama Pogindrathu
Unarthum Unaravae Illaathirukkirathu
Purinthum Puriyaathu Oru Puthirai Ullathu
Vaazhkai Verum Anubavama
Illai Vaazhkai Kooda Oru Vizhaiyaatha
Vellavum Veezhavum Vazhai Enna Parithchaiya
Kadavulin Varam Enakku Puriya Villai
Avan tharum Puthirukallukku Vidai Teriya Villai
Irunthun Illaamal Oru Unarvu
Terinthum Teriyaatha Oru Ninaippu
Arinthum Ariyaama Pogindrathu
Unarnthum Unaravae Illaathirukkirathu
Each time I feel some happiness why am I thinking twice?
Each time when it sinks into me why is it that it seldom lasts?
Each time I gain some strength why is it that I’m taking it light?
Each time when I feel that rage, why is it that it’s for a short while?
Each time I smile for me, why do I fear of that smile? What am I cautious about?
Each time even a small little thing, why does let me so very down? Why have I become so fragile?
Now with the glimpse of that rainbow, why and what am I STILL tensed about?
Why do I seek my space to recall and reflect of stuff?
