I feel like giving up something which I have been holding on dearly for so long. I’ve been seriously giving a serious thought about this but the voices in my mind are just asking me to leave it. Ever since things changed; I’ve started losing hope and its demotivating me very much. Lack of concentration and motivation ; I’m just a walking stick around for the sake. I feel like I’m in search of a newer dream. But what exactly it is??? Hmmm…
What’s there to go on when its no longer satisfying me ?? It’s no longer giving me happiness anymore..?? Or even satisfaction ?? How much long can I rekindled the flame again and again and again ?? I feel everything is becoming useless now.. Its becoming meaningless now… I came here for a purpose and the purpose is to achieve my goal and do something I like… But what exactly I’m doing now?? I was promised to do something else… So what if its a big organisation?? So what if ppl say a “Wow” when they hear where I’m working… Besides my team.. I can see that others are just taking advantage of our youth and giving a job with is not “suppose” to be done by us! Again I very much know that I’m still under observation and internship.. But i miss spending time with my kids.. I miss spending time with people.. Hearing them talking to me… Not talking to my senior and evaluate and observe from them right?? And what’s up with residence meeting has got to do with me??? which makes me stay till midnight? Crazy isn’t it?? *sigh* I’ve nvr complained abt my job and tried to love it for the sake of the great people I work with … But I guess am feeling a little tired about it now! :) Loosing hope ???!???
In 10 yrs down the road I should see myself as a well-known Psychotherapist (Counsellor) of my own centre… =)
